Comment: Why can’t gay couples feel safe enough to hold hands everywhere in the UK?
To me, this is one of the most interesting things about being gay, the fact that being āgayā seems only to be acceptable in certain areas. The juxtaposition between living in a theoretically liberal and accepting society yet, from a personal viewpoint, only being allowed to be gay in certain places seems to me bizarre. You might be thinking Iām exaggerating but you wouldnāt walk through Brixton in London holding your boyfriendās hand would you? If you were a drag queen, you wouldnāt go to Cheetham Hill in Manchester for a night out. This article stems from a debate I had surrounding this subject with a straight friend who made a pretty bigoted statement, which was, āWell youāre only asking for trouble if you were to be gay in certain places.ā
I had an ex who would only hold my hand down Old Compton Street itself (for those not in the capital, it’s London’s ‘gay street’) and itās not that he or I were insecure in our sexuality, Iām openly proud of my sexuality, but itās that feeling of whether āitās ok to be gay hereā. I go on straight nights out all the time with uni friends and I do find myself acting differently in different areas. Whereas Iād be the first to order a Pornstar Martini in Soho, youāre much more likely to catch me drinking a Bud with the rugby lads from uni. It really intrigues me that many people I have spoken to, including myself agree with this sentiment. Itās almost as though we have an inner compass of where weāre allowed to feel comfortable, Zone 1 of London for me, but this begs the question āwhy?ā.
Why do we not feel comfortable in less metropolitan areas, and why should we? Why do we theoretically live in a tolerant society but in practice have to go to certain places not to feel intimidated? And perhaps why should we even worry about āattracting the wrong kind of attentionā for being who we are?
In all honesty, I can understand this idea of āgeographical gaynessā (this is a term Iām coining) but thatās not to say I condone it. I think itās wrong for people to have to be in a certain place to feel comfortable but at the same time, one could argue that this is self imposed. I think we all know that if we hold our partnerās hand, thereāll be someone who looks, some small child who looks slightly confused, but I donāt think thatās something thatās going to change. I do think, however, that in all honesty, that its understandable. I can understand the idea of not feeling comfortable in areas that are perhaps less liberal and Iād like to say that itās a question of time, that it wonāt always be like this, but I donāt think thatās true. I think there are always going to be places in which people are less accepting, but Iām actually ok with that. I donāt think itās right, but I can cope with it. I understand some people are less tolerant than others and to be honest, I quite like having the āgayā areas. Soho wouldnāt really be Soho if it werenāt something of a refuge for LGBT individuals, it would just be a cakey, gelato haven with a few brothels for good measure.
Being younger, I can see a time where these āacceptedā areas expand and soon you wouldnāt feel so intimidated walking through the Printworks in Manchester with your boyfriend but for now, it bemuses me that there are allocated areas where LGBT individuals seem to call home. I agree that people should be able to be themselves anywhere but to go back to the initial statement, unfortunately I believe we will only be āattracting the wrong kind of attentionā, however unjust that is.
So for now, I think weāll have to make do with Soho Square when the sun is out, make do with the āgayā side of Brighton and make do with āthat side of Piccadilly Gardensā in Manchester. Although unfair and I donāt believe to be self imposed, this isolation clearly affects our social activities and our behavior but can I see a day when this doesnāt exist? Unfortunately, no.
Ethan Tweets @ethanbourneuk and is on Facebook at EthanBourneUK
