This trans woman stayed a virgin until she was 25 as she was scared of being attacked
A transgender woman has opened up about how she chose to remain a virgin until she was 25 as she was scared that she might be attacked by partners.
Allysa Call, now 35, opened up about her transition in an interview with the Mirror, talking about she felt “trapped in the wrong body”.
She said despite being fully transitioned, she lived in fear of being attacked, and chose not to have any romantic involvement with men or to have sex with anyone because she felt she might be attacked.
Now having had her first boyfriend at 33, Call says she feels “10 years behind” her friends, despite beginning hormone replacement therapy at 17, and undergoing gender reassignment surgery at 22.
She says: “Even once I had transitioned I shied away from relationships and being intimate with men for a long time out of fear of being attacked. Being a transgender woman can be terrifying.
“I feel like I am 10 years behind my friends in terms of relationships and experience and sometimes I still feel like that sensitive 16-year-old trying to figure out who I am – and I worry men will take advantage of that naivety.”
Adding: “Then in those formative late teen and early 20s years when people do start to explore their sexuality and have relationships, I was just trying to become who I always should have been.”
Of not feeling comfortable doing the same activities as her male twin brother, Call, of Exeter, said she would “play hopscotch instead of football” and “with dolls instead of action figures”.
She tells the Mirror: “As I got older how I looked became really confusing because it wasn’t how I felt on the inside. I felt trapped in the wrong body.
“As a teen I knew I was attracted to guys but I never let myself explore those feelings. By brain not matching my body made me too insecure.”
She eventually came out at 16, but was bullied at school, saying she was called a “poofter” and a “sissy” by peers. Despite having a close group of friends, she said she was “seriously bullied” and thought about taking her own life.
Call is now a vegan and animal rights activist, and has enjoyed being open about being transgender.
But she said her openness in a way felt her feel more scared as she was asked for naked pictures of herself on online dating apps before they met up.
She said guys would ask for the pictures “to make sure I looked ‘genuine’ enough so their friends would never know about my past.”
Now though, Call says she is determined to find love – despite not being able to go out to meet guys with her brother Matthew Call, as she says they fancy the both kind of men.
She adds: “Now I have a two date rule. If a guy makes it to the end of the second date and I want to see him again then I will tell him about what I’ve been through.
“If he doesn’t like it then he doesn’t have to see me again. I’m just like anyone else, I just want to be loved and accepted for who I am.”
Allysa’s mum Janet Call, 62, told the Mirror: “She is my daughter and I will love her no matter what. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy and I’ve never seen her this happy before.
“She is finally who she should be on the outside and she’s exactly the same person on the inside as she always was. It’s lovely to see.”
