This bisexual guy wrote a brilliant love letter to his accepting girlfriend
A bisexual activist has written a heartwarming love letter to his accepting girlfriend.
Lewis Oakley, who campaigns for bisexual visibility and acceptance, wrote the love letter on bisexual.org.
In it, he professes his love for his girlfriend Laura, and thanks her for accepting his bisexuality.
He says he is grateful for her acceptance of his activism, for not being āinsecure about [him] going gay clubbingā, and for brushing off ignorant questions about him going through āa phaseā.
Read the full love letter below:
Hey Laura,
I just wanted to tell you: youāre the most amazing person Iāve ever met and I love you so much.
My girlfriend and I have only been together eight months, but in that short time sheās inspired me to be the best I can be. Sheās encouraged me to tell my story and stand up for other bi people. Sheās cheered me on to keep going, congratulated me on my successes and been there to make me smile when I get abuse on Twitter.
She puts up with me being up until 3am messaging with a bi guy from America on his coming out process. She understands when Iām not available because Iām writing an article to a sharp deadline. And she doesnāt get mad when people message me inappropriate sexual comments on Facebook.
It shouldnāt be a big deal to find a woman whoās cool with dating a bi guy; but as a reformed serial dater, let me tell you they are rare to come by. Sheās never asked me which one I prefer, been insecure about me going gay clubbing or listened to those who told her āitās just a phase.ā
But by far one of the biggest things I have to thank her for is being cool with what Iām doing right now. Itās one thing to date a bi man, itās quite another to date a bi activist who discusses his attraction to men and women in the media every week.
When youāre in a relationship it can be hard to discuss your bisexuality and even harder to discuss it on an international platform. If I were a gay activist I dare to say life would be easier. Yes, Iād be discussing sexuality and love but ultimately I wouldnāt have to discuss my attraction outside of my boyfriend. I could use him as an example, bi people canāt do that. I canāt just talk about my attraction to women.
As a bi activist I have to discuss how attractive I find men and women that arenāt my girlfriend. Iāve discussed past sexual encounters and Iāve discussed the difference between dating men and women.
My girlfriend has read and seen everything Iāve ever done as an activist. Rather than be insecure when I discuss the kind of men I find attractive ā she replies āthis is awesome babe, so proud of you.ā
A lot of bi people who settle down do give up the fight. Theyāre living their lives and have more to do than fight for bi visibility. Plus, something that rarely gets talked about is how uncomfortable it can make your partner if youāre constantly talking about your attraction to others. Perhaps thatās why we donāt see a huge number of married bi people talking about their sexuality?
Dating me isnāt easy, not because Iām high maintenance but because society has some real messed up views when it comes to bisexuality. People have asked my girlfriend āare you the one dating the gay guy?ā Told her, āHoney, heās gay, thereās no such thing as biā and even one person who said āheās bisexual, youāre going to catch HIVā but none of that put her off, she sees me for the person I am, not what society says my sexuality is. Not only does she accept my sexuality, she celebrates it and that makes me love her even more.
Iāve dated people in the past whoāve told me to stop saying Iām bi, people that have stood by whilst their friends have ridiculed bisexuality to my face. Iāve even dated people whoāve tried to convince me I was gay and not bi. At the time I thought it was just something Iād have to learn to put up with, now I know itās not!
My girlfriend is my rock, when Iām having a pity party because Iām being hated on Twitter for talking about bisexuality she reminds me to grow up and reminds me that Iām doing this for the young bi men that are lacking in role models and changing opinions of those that have negative views of bisexuality.
So thank you Laura, thank you for always supporting me and helping me to do what I can to support the other bi guys that arenāt having a great time.
Speaking to PinkNews, Oakley said: āI think itās important we move past the simple ābisexual is someone who likes bothā and actually explore the issues bisexuals and those around them deal with. Iāve seen my girlfriend have to put up with a lot for dating me and thatās why I wanted to publicly thank her as well as bring attention to the issues straight girls who date bi men deal with.ā
This letter was originally published on Bisexual.org.
Last month a study has found that bisexual people earn considerably less than their straight counterparts.
Another study examined why many bisexual men choose to stay in the closet ā and in particular why many hide their sexuality from their wives and girlfriends.