Orange is the New Black season five’s top 10 characters
Warning: spoilers ahead
Weāve not counted how many key players are actually in Orange is the New Black, not least because they introduce and remove characters all the time.
There have been some incredible roles in previous seasons (weāre looking at you, Poussey), so in the name of fairness, weāll be listing our favourites in the newly dropped OITNB season 5.
And yes, itās a matter of opinion ā hereās ours:
10. Judy King (Blair Brown)
Based on TV chef and businesswoman Martha Stewart, Judy King is one of the showās least sympathetic characters ā but her southern drawl, wit and charm make for great viewing.
Weād actually be inclined to put her higher up this list, but sheās left Litchfield by episode six of season five, after being held hostage and tied to a crucifix-style plank by the white supremacists. Watching her fall from grace hurt.
9. Sophia Burset (Laverne Cox)
Again, Sophia would be higher up this list, but she doesnāt actually feature a great deal in season 5. Still, she does agree to save CO Humphreyās life after Daya shot him, despite his transphobic comment in the first episode and the horrors she suffered last season.
8. Carrie āBig Booā Black (Lea DeLaria)
Admittedly Boo doesnāt contribute much in terms of plot development during season 5, but she has to be included, because sheās still hilarious (āOf course, the dyke does tech. Perfect.ā) and still has āBUTCHā tattooed on her arm.
Also, her Law & Order-style trial of Pennsatucky in episode 6 brings some light relief to a fraught season five.
7. Linda Ferguson (Beth Dover)
As we know, Linda is not a Litchfield inmate ā sheās the Director of Purchasing for MCC. Weāre focusing specifically on the incarcerated characters here, but thereās a loophole as Linda pretends to be an inmate for a big chunk of season 5 ā and she really takes to prison life. āIām the counterfeit c*** of Connecticut,ā Linda tells Maria Ruiz.
There are also some great flashback scenes to Lindaās sorority girl days (yep, she was basically responsible for her sorority sisterās grisly death).
6. Suzanne āCrazy Eyesā Warren (Uzo Aduba)
Suzanneās outburst at the end of season 4 was the catalyst for Pousseyās death ā so sheās very much focused on her deceased friend this season.
She declares the spot where Poussey died āsacredā, before attempting to summon her spirit (and makes a convincing medium, too). She also adorably relies on Gloria to feed her regular meals in the midst of the riot, which brings us to nicely to our next entryā¦
5. Gloria Mendoza (Selenis Leyva)
Okay, Gloria is a bit of a grump, but thatās what makes her so relatable. Who wouldnāt be pissed off in there?
Sheās also one of the only inmates actually trying to help in a riot situation, by feeding people (mainly Suzanne), looking out for gun-wielding Daya, and generally keeping cool.
4. Galina āRedā Reznikov (Kate Mulgrew)
To be honest, Red is our ultimate favourite character, but weāre focusing on season 5 specifically here.
Red spends much of the fifth season trying to get dirt on Piscatella, forming an unlikely and riotous friendship with Flores.
This results in her ā and her daughters ā facing the wrath of Piscatella, in one of the most harrowing episodes so far this season.
3. Frieda Berlin (Dale Soules)
Flashing back to Frieda as a young Nature Scout, season 5 reveals her no-nonsense character is a survivalist. āCould you kill an animal and clean it without cutting the intestines? Could you take its skin and salt it and tan it to keep warm? Or would you sit in the corner with your doll and wait to die?ā she asks a scared compatriot.
Meanwhile, present-day Frieda has built an entire ā and enormous ā apartment in Litchfieldās basement, equipped with sofas, games and a computer. All of the above justifies her place on this list.
2. Cindy āBlack Cindyā Hayes (Adrienne C Moore)
Cindy needs to be crowned āMost Hilarious Inmate Everā. Whoever writes her lines is doing viewers all over the world a great service. From discovering sheās been made into a āBlack Lattes Matterā meme to having Taysteeās back at all times, Cindy is an all-round excellent character, and sheās really, really cheering up season 5.
1. Tasha āTaysteeā Jefferson (Danielle Brooks)
Taystee is the irrefutable ruler of OITNBās fifth season. She fights for justice for Poussey with impassioned speeches and endless determination, putting most of the fruitlessly rioting inmates to shame. When she sets the Flaming Hot Cheetos on fire at the end of episode 6, she reaches peak greatness. We love you, T.