The best gay sex positions: How do gay men have sex?
Gay sex can be enjoyed in a variety of different positions (Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels)
As anyone who’s ever had gay sex, thought about gay sex or watched gay sex will know there are endless combinations possible gay sex positions. But where to start? What feels best? How do you gay men have sex?
This guide to the four most accessible – and we reckon most pleasurable – gay sex positions will help get you started.
Before we get stuck into how to stick it in, we’d always condone safer sex and recommend you read our guide to PrEP, and always use condoms when having sex.
First off, shapes and sizes
What works for you and your partner or partners will depend on your shape and size. And for once, we’re not talking about cocks.
If you’re a tall man and the guy you’re having sex with is much shorter, you’ll be able to have sex in positions that a pair of beefy fellas wouldn’t find comfortable.
At the end of the day it’s all about angles, different levels of flexibility and being able to hold or change positions.
Whoever said physics was boring?
Anal sex positions
Most of these gay sex positions are anal sex positions, but there are some non-penetrative sexual positions at the end too.
If you’re after more anal sex reading, here’s another general guide on how to have anal sex that covers douching, communication, lube and some other stuff.
Top, bottom or versatile?
We’re going to look at gay sex positions from the point of view of a top and a bottom.
If you’re versatile (and we encourage you all to be), lucky you, you can do both. In some gay sex positions the top leads the action, and in some the bottom takes the lead.
So pay attention or you might miss your turn.
Interested in finding out why some guys are top and some are bottom? Here’s a scientific study from 2017 that talks about it.
Try the gay missionary position first
This gay sex position may sound boring, but it’s not, we promise. It’s one of the easiest positions for a top, and not especially difficult for a bottom.
Before that, though… the foreplay
During gay sex, if you’re engaging in foreplay and oral sex while he’s laying down, keep licking, kissing and sucking as you move your mouth down towards his balls.
Then go further, toward his perineum (the bit between his balls and his ass) and then his anus.
Bottom: if you’re enjoying this, give him a few moans and wriggle your anus a bit closer to where his tongue is.
Related: Read our guide to rimming if you want to find out more
If he’s keen, keep going down. If you can, and body shapes and sizes depend on this, lift his ass up a bit for ease.
Grab a pillow (and lube)
A pillow under the bottom’s lower back can help to raise his butt up for easier access and comfort for both parties.
Start rubbing your penis against his anus. Use lube, spit, condoms and PrEP if you’re going ahead with penetrative sex.
Seeing eye to eye
The gay missionary position is good for maintaining eye contact and clear communication during anal sex.
You can penetrate your partner slowly and carefully, keeping an eye on the target. You can build up a momentum that you’re both comfortable with. And it’s easy to get back in if you slip out, because you can see everything clearly.
Legs in the air
Once you’re both comfortable, try holding his legs back if you’re Top. Or putting them over your shoulders if you want to get really deep.
Bottom: you could also hold your legs back yourself, behind the knees or by your feet if you’re flexible enough!
Now try riding a guy’s cock
If you’re new to getting f**ked, or nervous about taking a bigger penis, this gay sex position could be good for you, because as a bottom, you’ll have the control.
It’s a good one for gaining confidence when it comes to bottoming – if it starts to hurt, you can slow down, and lower yourself onto him at your own pace.
You need a certain amount of athleticism to be able to ride your man. You want to be going up and down, and slightly back and forth, at the same time. A bit like riding a horse.
Bending over
If you’re both standing up – and you may well be if you’re f**king in a sauna, sex club, dance floor, kitchen, etc, bending over for a top, or bending someone over, can be a winner.
Whether this is comfortable or not for the bottom will depend on, you guessed it – angles.
Men’s rectums are all different, so your height difference, cock shape and size, and the angle that you’re f**king him in, will all play a part in how successful (pleasurable) this gem of a position will be.
Top: start slow and give him time to get comfortable.
Bottom: telling him you’re going to back onto his cock and thus leading the action / setting the pace can help.
Adjust your stance by sticking your ass up and out more, until you find the most comfortable position.
Tops: this is a good one if you and your partner like to go a bit harder. Hold onto his waist and draw your whole body into him. Or hold onto his shoulders with him bent right over backwards if he enjoys a more upwards thrust.
Doggy style
This one is trickier than it looks because you’ll need to position your ass in a way that makes it easy for your top to penetrate you.
It’s either going to work or it’s not. If you’re top, get behind your man, who should be in front of you on all fours. If your cock lines up nicely with his asshole, you’re winning.
If the angles require some gymnastics or penetration at an awkward angle, it could be painful for you both. Give it a go by all means, but it’s probably worth trying something else.
Bottoms: also note, your knees can get sore, and you can’t see your partner’s face clearly, so it’s harder to see if you’re both enjoying it.
On the side
One of the best, and not just because you can carry on watching Netflix. Bottoms – lay on your side with your ass turned out. It might help to open your ass cheeks up so your top can find your sweet spot.
Top: once you’re in, carefully lay down next to your partner and put your arms around him.
This can be a really intimate position, as you can hold him tight, kissing his neck and face. There’s also the potential to pump away pretty hard. It’s all in the hips!
That’s the basics of anal covered
Of course there are a tonne more complicated positions like the greasy vine sparkler and the unicorn (or something), but do the four we’ve covered well and you’ll be coming back to them again and again.
Not such a fan of anal? Don’t stress!
Gay men don’t have to have anal sex.
Try the best oral sex position for you and your partner… the 69.
Getting into a good 69 position can be tricky, and there are different ways to do it.
If you’re a similar height, lay side by side, ‘top to tail,’ so your faces are in each other’s crotch. Different heights? The taller guy can curve into a V shape so that your bits are in the right places.
If you’re a bit more athletic, another way to do this involves your partner laying down, face up. Get into a push-up style position, with your mouths and cocks lined up. In this position you can f**k his mouth from above.
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