How to be versatile: The gay sex guide to giving and receiving
Being versatile in gay sex requires understanding both the top and bottom roles. But it rewards because being versatile offers the best of both worlds. Here’s how.
First off, we’ve got separate guides on how to be a top and how to be a bottom. If you want to be versatile, it’d be a good idea to read them both.
But keep reading here too, because being versatile combines both of these roles to create something unique, special and (we think), probably the best position to be in.
Before we get stuck into sticking it in, we always support and suggest safer sex. Read our guide to PrEP, and always use condoms.
The best of both worlds
Being versatile gives you the most options when it comes to having sex.
It could be argued that versatile guys get more sex than their top or bottom counterparts – because every top, bottom or vers guy is a potential lover.
Being sexually compatible with more guys is a good card to have up your sleeve when it comes to dating, too.
Versatile partners are more equal
People say that the top is often more dominant and the bottom is more submissive, but versatile partners don’t have this dynamic.
There’s a lot less power-play going on here. You’re both in charge, you’re both equal and you’re both going to ‘get’ just what you ‘give.’
If you’re fucking your partner as well as getting fucked by your partner you’re also likely to have a better understanding of what he’s feeling, and vice-versa.
Which inevitably will lead to better experiences.
Flip-flop f**king
No, we don’t mean shagging the summer footwear item.
A flip-flop f**k session is when two versatile guys take turns fucking each other.
Getting royally ploughed by your man and can’t take any more? Instead of having a break like a top/bottom couple might, you just switch.
Fuck him until he can’t take anymore instead. Then switch. And repeat.
Better orgasms
If you’re both taking each other to the brink of orgasm before swapping over, you’ll be edging each other, stimulating each others’ cock, ass and prostates and generally have more blood flowing to more nerve endings than a top or a bottom might.
When you finally do cum, you’re likely to have a more fulfilling orgasm!
Greater variety with the an extra fun factor
As you’re both leading, there’s twice as much room for creativity and experimentation as being versatile leads to more options for play.
For example, imagine you’re getting fucked on your side. Suddenly you push your guy off, hold his legs in the air and start fucking him missionary style.
Then put his legs down and ride him like there’s no tomorrow. The options are endless!
Everybody is different
On the flip side of that (groan), everyone has a different cock, ass and prostate, so what feels good for you might not feel good for him.
How you like it isn’t necessarily how your partner likes it. That goes for strength, speed, angles and everything else.
Clear communication
Remember: if you’re versatile, it doesn’t mean you have to be versatile every time you have sex.
Ask him how he likes to get fucked, tell him how you like to get fucked and say when you want to switch position, try a new one or if you feel like just being bottom or top that night.
What does Top/Vers or Bottom/Vers mean?
You may come across these phrases online, or out and about so it’s important that there’s clarification.
If someone is Top/Vers, they have a preference for being top, but they also like to get fucked sometimes, taking on the Bottom role.
If someone is Bottom/Vers, they have a preference for being bottom, but they all like to fuck sometimes, taking on the Top role.
