Music

Stop the clocks, cut off the telephone, because Lindsay Lohan is back to save us all from coronavirus lockdown fatigue

Lindsay Lohan relaunched her music career and she is ready to give the gays everything they want and more. (Screen captures via Instagram/James Gourley via Getty Images)

Lindsay Lohan, after her promising career as an actor crumbled a decade ago following a streak of legal dips and substance abuse, is back.

“I’m back!” the legendary Mean Girls star wrote Tuesday on Twitter, accompanied by a video compilation of the many ups and the many, many downs of her career blared on a trio of tube TV sets.

Lohan, 33, shared her fans a link to pre-save her single. But our musical saviour, who clearly heard the cries of the gays lamenting when Lady Gaga pushed her album back, offered no song title, album name, release date or any, in fact, details.

Lindsaly Lohan is back after a 12-year musical hiatus. 

After wiping her Instagram grid clean, Lohan posted the video, which shows snowy static before jumping from fuzzy news reports of her through the years.

Her beach club, however, was noticeably absent. Maybe that’s something even she is trying to forget.

There’s no soundtrack to the clip, and instead features soundbites of reports repeating the embattled actor’s name.

Lindsay Lohan vastly shied away from the spotlight since her dip into rehab and the court system. (Gotham/GC Images)

Lindsay Lohan vastly shied away from the spotlight since her legal glooms and trips to rehab. (Gotham/GC Images)

A news ticker reads “Evolution of Lindsay Lohan” as snippets of the star in the glow of camera bulbs on the red carpet and dancing in her “Rumours” music video play until the TV screen, seemingly unable to handle her chaotic good energy, shatters.

In teasing a new single, this will be Lohan’s first musical venture since last year’s, uh, quirky electro-dance track “Xanax”.

She teased the song, briefly posted a music video before taking it down, but never formally dropped the track.

We guess the rumours were true… well, there were no “rumours”, she literally stated she’s coming back earlier this year.

Fans feel mixed about Mean Girls star’s comeback. 

However, some fans needed a Xanax after reading that Lohan is back, as response to her return remained mixed.

In the laundry bag of reactions, some fans genuflected for the return of the musical lord and saviour Lohan.

Others wondered why Lohan chose the, you know, literal midst of a global viral pandemic to stage her comeback.

https://twitter.com/flpsides/status/1245030419185020928

Whatever happened to Lindsay Lohan?

Lohan has shied away from the clicking of paparazzi cameras and being the topic of the dining news notifications on phones for years now.

In the late 1990s and 2000s, she fronted an array of Hollywood films that catapulted her into one of the most sought-after stars in the business. From The Parent Trap to Freaky Friday.

A composite image compares the six booking photos of actress Lindsay Lohan. (Various Sheriff's Departments via Getty Images)

A composite image compares the six booking photos of actor Lindsay Lohan, causing her to rout from the spotlight for more than a decade. (Various Sheriff’s Departments via Getty Images)

But some fans began to wonder whether Freaky Friday became a reality after Lohan’s wholesome, squeaky-clean persona was left in tatters after leapfrogging rehab six times between 2007 and 2013.

Between then, she was in an out of jail cells and courtrooms with a rap sheet ranging from drug offences, drunken driving and theft.

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