Caroline Giuliani, daughter of Rudy, explains how threesomes helped her realise she’s pansexual
Caroline Giuliani (L) and her father, Rudy Giuliani. (Instagram/Getty Images)
Activist and filmmaker Caroline Giuliani has opened up about her journey to polyamory while revealing she is pansexual.
Caroline, who has long clashed with her combative Republican father Rudy Giuliani, wrote about her experience as a “unicorn” – a woman who acts as a third partner for couples – in an essay for Vanity Fair magazine published Thursday (4 March).
The 32-year-old filmmaker based in Los Angeles, California, said that after having threesomes she began to make the most of her “curiosity, open-mindedness and sense of adventure” and “shed my shame about those qualities”.
“Finding the strength to explore these more complicated, passionate aspects of my personality became the key to harnessing my voice and creative spark, which in turn helped me better cope with depression, anxiety, and the lingering cognitive effects of adolescent anorexia,” she wrote.
In exploring her sexuality, she came to realise that she is pansexual, “which feels more precise than bisexuality”.
“I am attracted to people based on their presence and energy regardless of their biological sex, gender, or gender identity,” she explained.
As much as her journey has changed Caroline for the better, she has courted “creeps” who have “slut-shamed” her, while “virtual strangers have often felt comfortable confessing burdensome secrets about their sexuality” to her.
“I have always valued my ability to hold space for people to share their repressed experiences because I believe it’s an essential step in combating the toxic shame our society perpetuates.”
Caroline Giuliani: ‘I broke my stainless steel bed frame with tons of great sex’
Caroline Giuliani said she was previously in a “long-term, loving, monogamous relationship.” But when she started to listen to her body and its wants and desires, it “begged me to end before it progressed to an engagement.”
She didn’t quite understand what she was missing from the relationship, “but I did know that my partner loved me despite my weird wildness, while I yearned to be with someone who loved me because of it.”
Single once more, she started “making up for lost time”, going on “soul-nourishing psychedelic trips into the desert with friends.
“I broke my stainless steel bed frame with tons of great (and safe) sex.
“Of all of the variants of ecstasy I experienced during that period, the ecstasy of unbridled self-discovery was the most metamorphic.”
Then, while Googling, she stumbled across the dating app Feels where “the sexually adventurous can go to find one another”.
“As with any online forum, I had to weed out the occasional creep, but in general, the people I connected with were clear communicators and more transparent about difficult subjects like STD status than I had ever encountered before.”
Going on a date with more than one person was strange at first – like “volleying a beach ball with no net and no playbook” – and it took Caroline a while to adjust.
“The fluidity of the situation made autopilot impossible, which made me realize how often I do go on autopilot, in dating and otherwise,” she wrote.
“I thought more consciously about what I wanted to do or say at each moment. To whom did I want to bat my new eyelash extensions?
“Did I want to ask questions about him, her, or their relationship? Even small details like the seating arrangement required more active attention.”
She said that she hopes to “eventually find a ‘monogamish’ relationship, like many of the couples I’ve dated have.” In the meantime, “reliving my spicy threesome memories has been a much-needed, COVID-free crutch for a single gal and her vibrators”.
Above all, Caroline said: “I want to live in a world where we talk about sex as comfortably as we talk about food or the weather.”
