Even Demi Lovato ‘misgenders themselves and forgets’. They just want people to make an effort
Demi Lovato (L) and Alok Vaid-Menon. (Screen capture via YouTube/Demi Lovato)
Demi Lovato has said that even they misgender themselves sometimes as they explained the importance of pronouns after coming out as non-binary.
The 28-year-old singer revealed they are non-binary on Wednesday morning (19 May) on their podcast 4D With Demi Lovato, saying their pronouns are they/them.
During the first episode, Lovato sat down with gender non-conforming author and artist Alok Vaid-Menon and spoke about pronouns, how vital they are and how it’s OK for people to trip when getting them right from time to time.
“It would mean the world to me if people could start identifying me as they/them,” Lovato said.
“I will also be accepting if people slip and say ‘her/she’ because I know that, being in my position, it’s going to take a while for people to get used to.
“I just want them to be making the effort. I think it’s important because I want to use these pronouns that feel right to me – I also just don’t want people to be so afraid of messing up that they don’t try to use them.”
Vaid-Menon explained how even they “misgender themselves and forget” – to which Lovato chuckled as they said “same”.
“It’s not as if trans and non-binary people are born with gender literacy,” Vaid-Menon added, “it’s something that we develop in order to be better for each other.
“So, if we could do it, you could do it, too. It just takes practice and commitment.”
People wanted Demi Lovato to be ‘the sexy feminine pop star’
Demi Lovato added that when they’ve met non-binary folk in the past, they’ve “slipped up”.
“I’ve messed up with you!” they told Vaid-Menon. “Having you just being like, ‘I’m just appreciative that you’re trying to make the effort and that you experience me,’ that was really, really cool.
“It gave me more confidence. It’s still a work in progress and I’m working on it, too.”
Lovato said that they hope that speaking openly and honestly about their experiences will not only make other non-binary people feel valid but encourage more people to be “compassionate”.
Elsewhere in the podcast episode, Lovato opened up about the near-fatal overdose they suffered in 2018 – one, they said, happened because they were “ignoring their truth“.
“I was suppressing who I really am in order to please stylists or team members or even fans that wanted me to be the sexy feminine pop star in a leotard and look a certain way,” they said. “I thought that was what I was supposed to be.
“Now I realise it’s so much more important to live your truth than to ever suppress yourself because that’s the type of stuff that happens when you do.”
