Britney Spears jokes about ‘s***ting’ on herself in bizarre Instagram skit
Britney Spears performs during Now! 99.7 Triple Ho Show 7.0 at SAP Center on December 3, 2016 in San Jose, California. (Photo by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images)
Britney Spears is taking her acting career to new heights as she debuted “Sessions with Ashley”, a comedy sketch about therapy, love and pooping.
After sending a cease and desist order to her sister Jamie Lynn Spears amid a tense tit-for-tat feud, Britney decided to launch her new act inspired by her sister’s book, clearly.
“No, I never pooped on myself !!!” she wrote in the caption of an Instagram video posted Tuesday (18 January). “This is a skit !!!”
Filmed in a harsh, tropical colour filter, the bit – complete with an intro jingle – sees Britney play someone speaking to her therapist about how her bowel movements are blocking her ability to connect with her boyfriend.
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The three-minute episode follows Ashley, played by Britney Spears, who you might remember from comedy shows such as Will & Grace, Glee and Saturday Night Live, as she sees her therapist.
“This is the third time since month you’ve been here,” questions Ashley’s therapist, also played by Brintey. “We need to start taking things a little more seriously here,” she warns.
“I’m here to help you, but you need to give me the tools to help you with your relationship with Earl.
“Earl has a sickness, and your bowel movements are obviously getting in the way of showing him your affection toward him.”
Yes, she said “bowel movement”. Yes, Ashley’s bowel movements are preventing her from being emotionally vulnerable with her partner, Earl.
We aren’t sure, however, if the bowel movement is also played by Britney.
Ashley recalls a recent date with Earl as the pair went to the opening night of Cats. “I think I had too much to eat with my hamburger, and I’m actually a little bit allergic to fried food,” Ashley said with tears in her eyes.
“Sorry, I need to take a moment. I had to run away, I went to the bathroom and I just s**t on myself everywhere, I s**t everywhere and I couldn’t stop it. It was the nerves of being with him,” she said, screaming.
Earl makes Ashley feel “scared”, she adds, and become conscious of the dates going perfectly so much that she, er, to quote her, “s**ts everywhere”.
“How does that make me feel? Well, it makes me feel way better in my belly once I just s**t everywhere but the embarrassment factor of just letting go like that is really too much to handle.”
Well, there you go.
Britney Spears: ‘I know I need a little therapy’
This isn’t the first time that Britney Spears has joked about therapy, something that she was pushed to do across her nearly 14-year-long conservatorship.
On her 40th birthday in December, Britney celebrated her newfound freedom by poking fun at therapy.
“As much therapy as I’ve had to do against my will … being forced to pay and listen to women telling me how they are going to further my success… it would only be fair for me to dedicate my life to skits to the wonderful therapist,” she captioned a spoof of herself playing a therapist and an apathetic patient last year.
US singer Britney Spears. /ANP/AFP via Getty Images)
But as much Britney has satirised going to therapy, it was a source of strength and healing for her throughout her decade living in a conservatorship, which saw her personal and financial affairs controlled by others.
In an impassioned and, at times, almost breathless court testimony, she told a Los Angeles Probate judge in June that her “abusive” conservatorship has left her dispirited and traumatised.
“I actually do know I need a little therapy,” she jested. Yet, in what she said was a gruelling reminder of her lack of privacy, the paparazzi often pounced on her as she left her therapist in the Westlake District.
“Yesterday, paparazzi showed me coming out of the place, literally crying in therapy,” she explained.
“It’s embarrassing and demoralising. I deserve privacy when I go and have therapy.”
