Dolly Parton announces run for US president: ‘I’m begging of you, please just vote for me’

April Fools! Sadly, Dolly Parton isn’t running for president – the 2024 race is instead set to be a sad “race to the bottom”. But Dolly remains an icon, legend and genuine angel on earth, which you can read all about here.

Dolly Parton has announced that she is running to become the next president of the United States.

The country icon told PinkNews that she believes she is America’s “only hope” to stop Donald Trump returning to the White House.

Parton said she would run on “a platform of equality”, adding that she would advance LGBTQ+ rights while pursuing a “low tax” system.

“America has been governed for far too long by men who are more interested in fighting about gays and guns than in actually making this country a better place to live,” Parton said.

She hit out at Florida governor Ron DeSantis and current president Joe Biden, saying the political system “has too many men and not nearly enough Dolly”.

“I never thought I’d even consider going into politics, but I’ve been watching from the sidelines for far too long,” the singer and philanthropist continued.

“What America needs is a simple country girl who knows enough about poverty and wealth to call the shots.”

Speaking from her Dollywood theme park – which she hinted could become the new Camp David – Dolly reflected on growing up in “a one-room cabin” in Tennessee and paid tribute to her “hard-working” mother, who raised 11 children.

She also revealed that it was on the set of her Netflix film Christmas on the Square that she first started to seriously consider running for president.

“I went out for dinner with Christine Baranski and she said to me: ‘You know what Dolly? I think you’re the only one who could stop Trump. Everybody loves you!’

“At first I thought she was joking, but then everyone else started saying it too. In the end, it was my husband Carl who said to me: ‘Dolly, darlin’, if that orange man with the sausage fingers can get elected, anybody can,’ and I said: ‘What the hell! Let’s try.'”

Dolly Parton will run for US president as an independent, facing off against Biden and the eventual Republican nominee – likely to be either anti-LGBTQ+ Republican Florida governor Ron DeSantis, or recently-indicted former president Donald Trump.

“I won’t have any trouble beating that sad, sad man,” Parton said of DeSantis, describing his “Don’t Say Gay” law as “a whole lot of horses**t”.

On the topic of Trump’s indictment, she added: “It costs a lot of money to look that sleazy – and look where it’s got him!”

Addressing American voters directly, Parton said: “Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, I’m begging of you, please just vote for me!”

Parton will unveil her full manifesto – titled Make America Gay Again – during Pride Month, on 31 June.