Charli XCX addresses straight guy who thinks he’s gay for listening to Charli XCX

A man took to Reddit to ask whether he was gay for liking pop princess Charli XCX – and now Charlie XCX herself has given her verdict.

First – some ground rules. The definition of being a homosexual is being exclusively attracted to someone who is or identifies as the same gender identity as you. If you’re a man who is exclusively attracted to a woman, chances are you’re heterosexual, no matter what your hobbies are or what music you listen to.

Or so we thought, until mother to many, singer and signer-of-douches Charli XCX gave her answer as to whether someone is gay for liking her music.

Posted to hilarious Twitter account ‘Music Struggles‘, a screenshot of a man’s impassioned plea (originally via Reddit) for advice has taken the social media platform by storm.

“Am I gay for listening to Charli XCX?” the user wrote.

The anonymous 19-year-old took us on his Charli XCX journey, telling the world wide web that he stumbled across the hitmaker‘s more mainstream songs “Boys” and “Boom Clap” before listening to the stunning Crash album – and realising that “every song was a banger”.

Despite seeming like plain sailing, the user then ran into a bit of a problem. Apparently, even though “Every person [he] know[s] who listens to Charli XCX is gay, [he] never connected the dots.”

One of these dots, it turns out, is a direct quote from a gay friend saying: “I know that whatever’s on its way is gonna slay so hard that the gays won’t know what hit them.” True, to be fair.

Our answer would have been that, no, liking Charli XCX does not exclusively make you gay.

The newly unverified pop princess herself, however, has cast her verdict, writing a short but sweet:”Sounds p (pretty) gay to me.”

And with that, every shred of heterosexuality vanished from the man’s body.

You heard it here first; liking Charli XCX does, indeed, mean you’re gay. Sorry to this man.

• Dec 01 2023

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