Dr Ruth Westheimer, who revolutionised discussions around HIV and sexuality, dies at 96

Dr Ruth Westheimer, the celebrity sex therapist who stood up for gay men during Aids epidemic, has died. She was 96. 

Westheimer, known as Dr Ruth, died at her New York home on Friday (12 July), surrounded by family members, her publicist and friend Pierre Lehu said. 

Born in Germany in 1928, Westheimer revolutionised how people spoke about sex. with her frank openness and non-judgmental tone. At the height of the Aids pandemic – and panic – in the 1980s, and standing at just 4ft 7in tall, she defended the LGBTQ+ community, revolutionising discussions about HIV and being gay.

She said she defended the people some far-right Christians deemed “sub-human” because of her own past, PBS News reported.

Born into an orthodox Jewish family, as Karola Ruth Siegel, she was sent to an orphanage in Switzerland at the age of 10, after her father was arrested by the Gestapo and deported to Dachau concentration camp, in the wake of the murderous Nazi pogrom, Kristallnacht, the Night of Broken Glass, in 1938.

She stopped receiving letters from her parents in 1941 and learned they had been murdered – her father, most likely in the gas chambers at Auschwitz Birkenau. 

Westheimer moved first to what was then Palestine, training to be as sniper, then to Paris. She became a best-selling author, who was an advocate for contraception, writing more than 40 books, including Dr Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex, which was published in 1983, Dr Ruth’s Sex After 50: Revving Up the Romance, Passion & Excitement! and Sex for Dummies. 

In the 1980s, Westheimer she had her own show on local radio, Speaking Sexually, which catapulted her into the national spotlight.

“Tell him that Dr Westheimer said you’re not going to die if he doesn’t have sex for one week,” she told a caller in 1982, according to Sky News. Her radio success led to The Dr Ruth Show on TV and she also wrote a successful advice column. 

Her knowledge was sought after and she appeared on hit talk shows of the time, including The Howard Stern Radio Show, The Tonight Show, then hosted by the legendary Johnny Carson, and Late Night with David Letterman.

In later life, Westheimer, who studied psychology at Sorbonne University, taught at several universities, having a master’s degree in sociology from the New School in New York and a doctorate in education from Columbia University. She also ran her own private sex-therapy practice. 

Westheimer was married twice and had a daughter from her first marriage. She stayed with her second husband, Manfred Westheimer, also a refugee from Nazi Germany, until he died in 1997. They had one son. 

She is survived by her children, Miriam and Joel, and four grandchildren.