Julia Fox shares advice for finding ‘chosen family’ after coming out as a lesbian
Julia Fox shares her experience of finding chosen family in moving essay. (Getty)
Actress, model and Charli XCX’s “360” muse, Julia Fox, has detailed her journey of finding her chosen family, just weeks after coming out as a lesbian.
Last month, the “Down The Drain” author posted a blasé TikTok in which she seemingly came out, sharing a video of a fellow TikToker saying: “I love when I see a lesbian with their boyfriend. It’s like, ‘Aww, you hate that man’.”
In response, Fox drawled: “Hey, that was me. I was that lesbian. So sorry boys, won’t happen again.”
One month later, and with no other comment about her supposed coming out, Fox has penned an emotional essay in Elle magazine about how she found her chosen family.
In the essay, Fox referred to her experience of growing up with a tumultuous family background and a history of trauma, and feeling “scapegoated, emotionally neglected and severely misunderstood” during her childhood.
It was something she struggled to navigate before finding a family of her own.
Fox explained that before finding her chosen family, the Christmas period in New York was “particularly difficult” because she was left alone in the city while everyone around her went back to their relatives’ homes.
“I was too proud to seek companionship and too ashamed to admit I had nobody,” she wrote.
One Christmas, surrounded by friends she’d met who also didn’t have familial homes they could return to, Fox realised she had found her people.
“The formation of a chosen family is a deeply personal and organic process,” she said. “At the heart, lies the fundamental yearning to belong, the desire for companionship and especially the need for pure and unconditional love.
“It took years to find my chosen family, but when I did, something clicked. It was magic. It was as if they could feel what I had desperately been missing and they willingly stepped into this void, offering me radical acceptance.
“I know my chosen family played a crucial role in determining whether I would live or die.”
Three years on from discovering the people she now refers to as family, she revealed they are “all living together under one roof” and “co-parenting a happy little boy” – Fox’s child, who was born in 2021.
Fox took a moment in her heart-warming letter to reflect on why chosen families are particularly important for LGTBQ+ people, because the community “often find solace and affirmation within circles that embrace and celebrate their identities without judgment or prejudice”.
Rounding off the essay, the Uncut Gems star shared a nugget of wisdom about how her fans can go about finding and embracing their own chosen families.
“The answer is simple: they will find you,” she wrote.
“Take the proverbial mask off, the one you put on when you want to fit in. The one you wear so no one will see how special you are. Once you embrace who you are and own your identity, your people will finally be able to find you.
“It was only when I started practising radical honesty and humility that I was able to attract one into my life.”
While Fox has not said anything more about her TikTok coming out post, some fans have noted a distinct change in her appearance, noticing she’s been wearing more masculine attire.
A move that has gone down well with social media sapphics!
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