Ranking Dragon Ball: Sparking Zero characters by how fun they’d be at a gay bar

With Dragon Ball: Sparking Zero finally being released, we’ve been wondering who is the strongest character?

While some might point to the raw strength of Jiren, or the innate power of Super Saiyan Blue Gogeta, few have thought to look for the best quality of all: vibes on the dance floor.

Here the characters we reckon would be great on a big gay night out.

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Best – Piccolo

Piccolo has always been a bit of an extroverted loner. Once Goku’s arch-rival, he’s come around to developing a strong bond with the Z-team, eventually becoming one of Earth’s greatest heroes. While his exterior demeanour is often intimidating, Piccolo is really a kind and caring soul.

The Namekian is a tough shell to crack at first, most likely to treat the dancefloor as if it’s made of lava. Once he’s loosened up, however, Piccolo is going to embrace the vibes and dance like no one’s watching.

He’s always the first to opt in as the designated driver and will keep an eye on you when you’ve had one too many vodka cranberries.

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Worst – Goku

The spirited protagonist of the Dragon Ball franchise, Goku’s kind heart and positive attitude often mask his poor emotional intelligence and arguably psychotic need to fight people all the time.

The moment he enters the bar, Goku will carelessly bump into people and intrude in conversations. Having no job, and living in the woods, he won’t have brought any money and will mooch off of you for the entire night. Given that he’s worn the same fighting clothes his entire life, he’ll probably reek, too.

He eventually gets kicked out of the bar after trying a tequila shot for the first time and cringing so hard that he transforms into a Super Saiyan.

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Best – Whis

Quite literally an absolute angel, Whis doesn’t need an introduction or even an ID check when entering bar – in fact, he needs to introduce you.

Universe 7’s Guide Angel Attendant will always buy rounds of the best pitchers on the menu while exchanging pleasantries with the staff who know him well. He’ll even turn out to be best friends with whichever drag queen is performing.

The only downside will be when Whis gets the inevitable work call from Beerus and has to leave… sigh.

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Worst – Zarbon

Frieza Force veteran Zarbon is well-known at the bar but for all the wrong reasons. The warrior general has hooked up with, and ghosted, pretty much everyone in your peripheral vision.

That means your night will be filled with awkward glances and brief one-word exchanges between people Zarbon has met and eventually culminate with a sourz cherry over the face by someone to whom he owes money.

Unlike with Whis, when Zarbon is forced to leave after getting a work call, it’ll be an absolute relief.

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Best – Jeice & Burter

Ginyu Force duo Jeice and Burter are an absolute thrill to party with. The bar feels absolutely alive when they’re having fun and you’re happy to join the joyride, complete with genuinely heartfelt chats in the smoking area hyping you up.

The pair even bring along a couple of their own friends in the Ginyu Force to make the night feel complete. Your only regret is not helping the duo see their feelings for one another – just kiss dammit!

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Worst – Gohan & Videl

Talk about a hypochondriac’s nightmare! Gohan turns up wearing plastic bags over his shoes and a pair of rubber gloves to avoid touching anything in his vicinity.

Goku’s son and child prodigy-turned-dysfunctional-adult would have fun if he wasn’t currently encased in a germophobic prison. He refuses any drinks and insists that no one breathes in his direction.

Videl, meanwhile, constantly complains about her husband’s behaviour but doesn’t do anything to stop it.

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Best – Krillin

Krillin is the epitome of a golden retriever customer – he’s polite, always buys his round, requests the safe, popular tunes that make a night out, and is pleasant to chat with.

You might occasionally forget to check up on your best pal while you’re necking vodka shots at the bar, but that’s because you don’t need to. He’ll raise his glass towards you at the booth he’s saved for when you cant dance to Käärijä’s “Cha Cha Cha” anymore, letting you know he’s just fine scrolling Instagram and occasionally getting up to dance.

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Worst – Android 16

Not exactly a nightmare, but bars aren’t exactly Android 16’s thing.

The robotic creation of Dr. Gero is happy to tag along, but he would much rather go on a botanical garden stroll while listing off his favourite bird-watching spots.

After the night’s over, you’ll feel bad about dragging him along to endure yet another night of “Padam Padam” and accidentally buying him drinks he can’t have. Plus, smoking area conversations with him get super depressing.

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Best – Goku Black

While not too privy to getting up and partying, Goku Black is the kind of friend who always has a story to tell and a drink for you whenever you’re done bopping to Brat.

While sometimes you feel he may be a bit too full of himself, his stories are always interesting and memorable, even if you’ve drank enough to forget it all the following morning.

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Worst – Broly (Super)

He has a bit of an anger issue. Plus his muscles are too big to fit through the doors.

Share your thoughts! Let us know in the comments below, and remember to keep the conversation respectful.