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National Adoption Week: LGBTQ+ parents say adopting ‘changed our lives immeasurably’

Oct 26
Written by Chantelle Billson

LGBTQ+ adopters (pictured) are more needed than ever. (Supplied)

As National Adoption Week draws to a close, new research has shown that the number of people able to take in children has dropped, meaning LGBTQ+ adopters are needed more than ever before.

A You Can Adopt survey of 2,000 UK adults, held as part of the campaign which runs until Sunday (27 October), highlighted a growing need for LGBTQ+ adopters because the number of children awaiting adoption has risen by 22 per cent in England for the year 2023-24, while there has been a fall in the number of people willing or able to adopter.

The study revealed that nearly half the respondents (48 per cent) have a “chosen family”, and 42 per cent come from non-traditional family structures.

Some LGBTQ+ adopters have spoken to PinkNews, revealing the diverse ways of building a “forever family.”

Guto and Rhys

Rhys and Guto with their dog, Tudur, pictured in the middle. — Rhys and Guto have a five-year-old son. (Supplied)

Rhys and Guto, both 32, began their adoption journey in 2020 after 12 years together and five years of marriage. They are now the parents of a five-year-old boy.

Guto tells PinkNews that the adoption process is flexible.

“You can pause it and go at your own pace,” he says. [Our son] is full of life, absolutely adorable and has changed our lives immeasurably [and is] always happy to help.”

LGBTQ+ people considering adoption should realise “how quickly it feels normal to be a family, you don’t feel you’ve adopted” he adds. “He is our son, and he will forever be ours.”

While the couple faced no bias during the adoption process, Guto feels “there’s still a way to go to normalise same-sex parents”.

Barbara and Alison

Barbara, 65, and Alison, 55, are parents to children with additional needs, a group that often struggles to find homes.

Alison adopted Timmy in 1999, followed by his sister Chelsea. When the siblings were 10 and six, she met Barbara, who became their second mother.

Timmy died in 2017 but, in his memory, the couple adopted Sara, another child with additional needs.

Alison, who works in special needs, recalls how rare it was for LGBTQ+ people to adopt in the 90s, but says the process now is “as it should be”, adding: “We aren’t replicating heterosexual norms, we’re choosing adoption as our first choice.”

She is also eager to dispel a harmful myth.

“The idea that being gay makes your children gay is laughable. Chelsea, Sara and Timmy have all been heterosexual – Timmy only had eyes for boobs and bums, and Chelsea and Sara are all over men like rashes,” she jokes.

Alison does have one warning note for prospective adopters, however. “Love alone isn’t enough, you need resources and support,” she tells PinkNews.

And Barbara adds: “You can’t afford to fail. These kids have already been through so much.”

Michelle and Laura

Laura and Michelle adopted their two daughters. — Laura and Michelle adopted two young daughters. (Supplied)

Married couple Michelle, 39, and Laura, 40, wanted a shared path to parenthood so chose adoption.

In 2019, they were matched with a seven-month-old girl and later welcomed a second daughter, who was a newborn. Michelle praises their supportive social worker and reflects that adoption has inspired “self-exploration, resilience”, and joy within them.

She encourages LGBTQ+ adopters to prepare for emotional moments and be aware that the process can fall through.

Reflecting on her journey, she says: “We’re incredibly lucky for what we’ve achieved as two women. When I was coming out, this wasn’t heard of, but now it’s a different story. This is something I never thought I’d achieve back then, because that’s what the stigma led us to believe.”