Trans teacher’s ‘grief’ at having to move states to escape anti-trans sentiment

“Realising I would have to start anew was really hard,” a trans teacher, who wishes to be known only as Derek, tells PinkNews about his move from Missouri to Washington.

“Uprooting all your connections,” was one of the hardest parts, he adds.

To mark Trans Awareness Week, which runs until Tuesday (19 November), Derek opened up about his life-changing uprooting from Missouri to Washington in 2022.

The teacher, who is in his 20s, says he felt “grief” at having to move but had been “forced out”. While the decision was “scary,” he’s now “really happy” and feels “certain aspects” of his life are “better here than they could have been in Missouri”.

Missouri was ranked among the worst US states for LGBTQ+ people last year thanks to a number of bills targeting the community, with 40 of these still being tracked by the American Civil Liberties Union.

In contrast, Washington has been ranked as one of the safest for queer individuals.

Derek came out as trans at the age of 13. His decision to leave the Show-Me State was a “long, drawn-out one”, and he recalls becoming increasingly aware that the “political climate was getting worse”.

But it was after Donald Trump’s first term in the White House that the “writing really was on the wall… especially because I am a teacher, and I worked for a year in a public school district in Missouri where I saw how much these policies affected not only my ability to teach but also my sense of safety”.

Deciding where to move presented its own challenges. “I looked up online the top states that are best for trans folks. I compared them and eliminated all the states that were too cold for me. We had the option to visit both Oregon and Washington and settled on Washington,” he says, adding that his partner, who is also trans, works in the public sector as a librarian.

‘I don’t feel like I can put my guard down entirely’

Derek says anti-trans discrimination in the Evergreen State has been “significantly less” than what he experienced back home in Missouri, although he has always lived in metropolitan areas, which tend to have more liberal environments. 

Nonetheless, his job has required him to work in some suburban areas, where he notes that “things crop up pretty fast”, even in Washington.

“I don’t feel like I can put my guard down entirely, especially as things continue to progress at a national level and incite more reactivity,” he says of his new home.

Derek is even more thankful he moved following Trump’s second election triumph. The president-elect has repeatedly vowed to “return” responsibility for education to the states and has pledged to abolish the Department of Education, which administers federal grant programmes and oversees student loans.

Missouri is also home to Valentina Gomez, a failed Republican candidate who ran to be its secretary of state and frequently promotes anti-LGBTQ+ hate online, including a video in which she burned queer-themed books with a flamethrower.

Republican’s anti-trans rhetoric ‘directly impacts’ the trans community

By contrast, Derek highlights Washington’s robust unions, which make it easier to be a teacher, and the broader variety of job opportunities. However, as the educational environment shifts, he’s had to become “way more flexible on what kind of job I do”.

And he admits he couldn’t have managed the move without his partner. Together, they’ve made a conscious effort to reach out to trans communities and build new connections. Many of the people they’ve met also moved from Missouri for similar reasons.

Looking ahead to Trump’s second term, Derek emphasises that legislation can have a “huge impact” on minority communities. However, he’s equally concerned about the discrimination fuelled by hateful rhetoric.

“The recent way Republicans are equating being a queer adult or trans person with being a sex offender or paedophile, especially as a teacher, is directly impacting us,” he says.

A lawyer has previously warned that individuals who aim slurs such as “groomer” and paedophile at LGBTQ+ people online could face serious legal consequences.

Moving is ‘scary’ but ‘totally worthwhile’

Reflecting on Trump’s campaign, Derek says: “Some of these parties choose their scapegoat of the year or month, and trans and queer folks are having their moment.”

However, he remains hopeful that people will begin to “swing back the other way” and points out that some of his family, who previously voted for Trump, “couldn’t bring themselves to do so this time”.

To mark of Trans Awareness Week, trans pastor Lazarus Justice Jameson also shared their story with PinkNews, saying they too had to leave Missouri “to live.” Despite moving to Oregon, one of the most LGBTQ-friendly states they still encounter discrimination and harassment.

In addition, three trans journalists have spoken to PinkNews about the significance of their work and their fears as Trump nominates his team for the next four years.

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