A chaotic Christmas chat with Danny Beard and Diana Vickers: ‘In my nativity I played H from Steps’

“Christmas, the whole of its camp. Even the Christmas pudding – you set the c**t on fire!” howls RuPaul’s Drag Race UK winner, Danny Beard.

There’s a reason the phrase “As camp as Christmas” exists. From the shimmery tinsel wrapped around the tree, to Mariah Carey belting out “All I Want For Christmas Is You”, to the fact Mary conveniently gave birth despite being a virgin, Christmas is inexplicable, wall-to-wall camp tomfoolery.

It makes sense then that the festive season has been co-opted by drag superstars, who are ready and waiting to get those slayyyyy bells ringing. On Thursday 19 December, Drag Race UK champ Danny Beard is bringing an abundance of festive queer cheer to London’s Clapham Grand, for their wild Grand Christmas Cabaret.

“We’re going to have everything you can imagine that you want at a Christmas party and more,” they promise. “We’ve got drag kings, drag queens. [Drag Race UK] season six favorite Lill. She’s everyone’s favorite. We can say it: she didn’t win, but she should have won.”

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There’s live music, burlesque, comedy, mulled wine, Christmas cocktails and, straight from the green room of the Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial musical I Wish You Well, “Once” singer Diana Vickers. 

“It’s packed full of camp, festive fun,” Vickers adds, serving alliteration the house down.

PinkNews caught up with Danny Beard and Diana Vickers to have a chaotic Christmas chinwag about brussels sprouts, Jacob Elordi’s beard, and H from Steps.

PinkNews: Let’s start with the obvious: what’s your favourite Christmas song of all time?

Diana Vickers: I really love “Fairytale of New York”.

Danny Beard: Oh it’s so hard. Same, but it’s so obvious and it’s my dad’s favourite and I think that’s why. Do you know what I love? *Sings in soft dulcet tones* “Driving Home For Christmas…”

DV: Oh yeah, that’s nice. It gets you in the mood doesn’t it. 

DB: I think my actual favorite is “A Spaceman Came Travelling”. It’s a random one but you know, when you get Now! Christmas and it’s got every Christmas song on. Leona Lewis is always up there with “One More Sleep” which vocally is incredible, but… I’d happily never hear Leona Lewis sing “One More Sleep” again, because it was on before every show.  

DV: It gets ruined when it’s constant, doesn’t it? And you’re like, “For God’s sake!”

If you could star in a remake of any Christmas film, which one would you pick?

DB: I’m not a totally mad Crimbo film [lover]. We literally just started a Home Alone-athon here when we put the tree up, and that’s purely because my boyfriend’s a massive child and was like, “We have to watch it.” But you can’t remake Home Alone.

DV: Yeah, that’s too iconic. I’d probably go for something like The Nightmare Before Christmas by Tim Burton but do like a real life version and I’d play the skeleton, Sally. I’d like that, really weird and obscure.

For the gays at Christmastime, going home isn’t always fun. Do you have any advice on how to deal with a side order of homophobia with your pigs in blankets?

DB: I always think boundaries, right? We’ve all got family that f**k us off. Some family (members) like to start a debate on trans rights, for example, when you know they’re not going to change their opinion. So set yourself boundaries before you go. Just think, ‘Am I going to rise to it?’ Often, if people want to rise out of me, I’m quite good at guessing it and don’t give them it. I’ll do everything but. But that said, I also think Christmas is the perfect time to tackle a homophobic or a transphobic relative, just as long as you’re respecting yourself and not getting yourself too invested in it where it ruins your time, you know what I mean?

DV: say there’s like that one person and then you’ve got the support of so many amazing, lovely family – maybe it would be a nice time to address it because you’re all together and you’ve got great loving back up. But like I said, boundaries. There’s certain games that we don’t play in my house because we end up screaming at each other. There’s a boundary that we can’t do that. But yeah if you’ve got the support, then maybe it’s time to give Uncle Bl**dy Homophobic a little speaking to with the clan.

DB: He’s not getting no extra Yorkshire puddings from me.

Speaking of Yorkshire puddings – give me your most controversial Christmas dinner takes.

DB: I love a mix of meats. Turkey I could never see again on a Christmas table.

DV: I frigging love turkey. I think it gets really bad rep and I think if it’s done real nice and it’s juicy and it’s moist, I think big up turkey.

DB: While I do agree with you, most people can’t cook a f**king turkey because we only do it once a year. I can’t. My mum – she’s not gonna read this – she does the driest f**king turkey with this crispy layer of armoured bacon. My teeth have taken themselves back to Turkey when I try and eat it.

DV: Brussels sprouts get a bad rep. But if you fry them with maple syrup, put a bit of bacon in there, absolutely stunning.

DB: Later on when you have one of those Christmassy farts and you’re like mmmm… is it just me?

Who from 2024 is on your naughty list and your nice list?

DV: Jacob Elordi is definitely on my naughty and nice list. I’m obsessed with that man. 

With or without the beard?

DV: Without! That beard needs to go. That beard’s on my naughty list. 

DB: Do you know who’s on my nice list, and I’m obsessed with her at the minute and can’t stop watching her videos? Cheryl Fergison, aka…Heather Trott. I’ve got this little soft spot for her. She’s been singing in a mate’s Chinese chippy and she’s been selling loads of her old scripts and stuff. I have a wish for Santa that there’s some kind of TV soap Gods that cast Heather Trott. Heather Trott should go into Emmerdale as the same character… I’d say (she should) go on Hollyoaks but I went on there and then it went down to three days a week, and got took off Channel Four, so maybe I’m a curse to Hollyoaks.

And on the naughty list?

DB: We could fill a [naughty] list with politicians.

DV: Yeah, Trump, get ‘em all on there. 

DB: I hope Rishi Sunak’s having just boiled sprouts for Christmas. But he won’t be, he’s a billionaire. 

And lastly, what’s the gayest thing about Christmas?

DB: Apart from the fact that there’s a pure hairy daddy bear that comes down your chimney…

DV: I was talking about this. Me and my sister got really freaked out. Imagine if Father Christmas was real and were upstairs and there’s just this weird man in the house? What if he comes in our rooms? That’s quite camp.

DB: I think the other camp thing about Christmas is, I put my tree up, it’s not real. How f**king camp and weird is it that we bring a tree in from the garden traditionally and cover it in candles? Christmas has just got camp written through it. Then we give each other gifts wrapped in paper. Everything about Christmas is camp.

DV: I always love it when you go to nativity and you see like, the old squirrel from the tree or the old tortoise and you’re like… what is a tortoise doing at this nativity? That’s quite camp.

DB: In my Christmas nativity I played H from Steps. How camp is that? In our version, the three kings came and then for some reason when the kings came, Steps came out and we did “5, 6, 7, 8”. That was one of the gifts.

DV: These three wise men are quite camp as well. Why does a baby need some frankincense and some myrrh? Like, it’s just all a bit extra, isn’t it?

DB: Back then, that would’ve been Jo Malone. 

Tickets for Danny Beard’s Grand Christmas Cabaret at the Clapham Grand on 19 December are available now.

This interview has been condensed for length and clarity.

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